Monday Morning Devotion-June 20, 2022
The Three "C's"
Any fool can start arguments; the honorable thing is to stay out of them. Proverbs 20:3
*reprint from October 23, 2017
In his "You Make Me Crazy" series Pastor Rick Warren (Saddleback Church, California) included a lesson on "Three Sure Ways to Create Conflict." (www.connect@newsletter.purposedriven.com)
So, are you ready to pick a fight? Here goes! Not a smart thing to do but here are three tricks-of-the-trade that can pretty much assure your success in starting an argument. To help you remember them they all start with the same letter, so we are calling them the 3 C's.
1) Comparing: Making comparisons is certain to get someone's dander up. Everybody is unique. So, people can easily take offense when you compare them to someone else. Of course, you could think that you are doing them a favor if you compare them to someone famous, but you never know. Maybe they have a reason not to care for that person and being compared to them will set them off. Just remember: everyone is different.
2) Condemning: One of the ways to use the condemning tool is the old guilt trip trick. When you start laying on the guilt in a relationship chances are good that you will get the opposite of what you expect. It doesn't work. It's foolish. Most people will take it as condemning them rather than helping them.
3) Contradicting: William James, the famous psychologist said, "wisdom is the art of knowing what to overlook." There's some stuff you just need to overlook. Maybe you disagree with it. But is it worth it to contradict it? Usually not! Overlooking and moving past it is usually the best strategy.
I've listed these three things as ways that you can create a conflict, start a fight or put someone down whom you think deserves it. Actually I listed them so you can avoid them. They are listed to forewarn you that those are ways to pick a fight, start an argument and maybe even lose a friend or damage the relationship. It is best to remember those 3 C's and avoid them.
Warren says this: "The fact is. If you're around anybody for any length of time, you'll figure out what that person does that irritates you, and you file that information in the back of your mind as a tool to use when you get in an argument. It becomes a personal 'weapon of mass destruction'! When you get in an argument, and that person says something that hurts, offends, or slights you in any way, then you pull out the big gun. You push the hot button. And it works every time! You know what the Bible calls that? Foolishness! You're not getting any closer to the resolution. You're not helping the relationship. In fact, you're hurting it. It is not wise."
Many times, arguments take an ugly turn when someone gets angry. Proverbs 14:29 says, "A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes." Whenever a person (notice I said, "a person" not "you") gets angry their intelligence goes out the window. When you, oops----when they get angry--- they say and do foolish things that are actually self-defeating.
Did you ever think about the fact that there is only one letter difference between 'anger' and 'danger?' When you…uh, someone---gets angry they/you are in dangerous territory. They are about to hurt others---and themselves---with their own anger.
Certainly, there are a lot of things out there to get angry about. Self-control is a prize to possess. One that is often tested.
Remember how Job was tested. One of the ways, when God allowed Satan to test his faith was that Job became afflicted with sores all over his body. Of course, Job's wife was a big help. She saw him in such pain and discomfort and said: "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die."
Great advice, huh? Here's what Job replied: "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept the good that comes from God, but not the bad?"
Good question. We accept the good from God every day without even thinking about it most of the time. Each new day is a gift from Him that we take for granted. But what about when something unpleasant happens?
Charles Stanley writes: "When disappointments occur, the enemy tells you that you are not worth anything, you'll never make it. Don't listen! It may be that the Lord, in his loving plan, has stopped or maybe even allowed a particular situation to occur to keep you from destruction. What seems a setback is actually His rescue. When trials occur, honor God."
That's what happened with Job. He kept the faith. He knew that he wasn't deserving of all the misfortune that was coming his way in bunches. He kept the faith and refused to blame God and give in to the evil temptations sent his way by the enemy through his wife and his friends. He chose instead to think about the good that had come from God.
And we know the rest of Job's story and how his faith was rewarded. "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters…after this Job lived a hundred and forty years, he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so, he died, old and full of years." Job 42: 12-13, 14.
Yes, there is a lot out there to make you crazy. But thanks be to God, there is a lot to be crazy (happy) about.
Remember those 3 C's so you can forget them as a solution to a problem. God will reward your self-control and grant you wisdom
Prayer: Lord, please bless us even more in times of temptation, hurt and grief for we know if we are patient and keep the faith something good awaits us just around the corner. Amen!